I had a really nice chat with my dad today, whilst The Mothership was out: I’m a bit emotional at the moment (because I’m alcoholic) and I got my dad on to the subject of emotion: that’s for another time. I would like to place on record though, the fact that my old man is a legend. Mum? Well, she’s mum; and that’s a compliment in itself.
My mum’s name is Rose: she’s a Rose by both name and nature: she tries her best. She’s trying but not like me: I’m the operative one.
Today I gave Rose (my mum) a Rose: I don’t have much but I know I love her; (and dad was trimming the Rose bushes in the garden).
I must admit that I hate being tailed, chaperoned, shadowed and looked over but I know that my mum just cares. She’s lent me this laptop as she knows that writing is part of my therapy; she’s bought me a pad and pen too. If I were given the option of returning to my old life with Dan or having the latter though, the latter would win: thanks mummy! All I need is a pad and pen but thanks for the laptop (lending thereof!)
Back to my dad (sorry mum!): great man! He’s toiled all his life (he’s 71 for fuck sake!) as a manual labourer and made an honest living. I climbed the so-called ladder and ended up with a job paying £75’000 a year and got a car too: look where that got me! And my poor old dad! He’s got me, I’ve got him but for some reason, he’s as proud as I am; and so is mum. I guess I’m proud of my kids too, as I am my sister: I hope she’ll be proud of me some day. I’m ashamed of me but my family and friends are proud of me for some reason: thanks.
Often mum asks what I’m up to, whilst she looks over my shoulder: THIS!
She’s just interested, nosey or perhaps concerned: in any case, I’m flattered and grateful for such a great mum and all the others who care for me: from my heart.
THIS is what I do; THIS is my therapy; THIS is why I write; THIS is what I’ve been advised to do;
THIS is me.