Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
I’m still in the library (as usual), reading The Guardian and New Scientist (again). I’m making the most of the facility’s shorter opening hours on a Saturday (until 5PM) and writing this between periods of reading.
Magazines and newspapers can’t be taken from the library as they maintain an archive of previous issues, which are available upon request in the reference section, where I reside. That’s why I read newspapers and magazines during the day and books in the evening, occasionally returning to my journal of course. I make the most of what’s available in the time. Even though the newspapers may not be removed – because they’re retained – us readers can return on later dates and request specific historical editions, issues and sections.
I’m sitting in my usual place, in the reference section and (when I’m not on a computer) next to the printing reference section: fascinating reads available if that’s what floats your boat and it does mine as I was in print for 25 years. Print processes, history (of print), politics (of print), book-binding, fonts, colours…
This in addition to the novel I’m about to finish (tonight, as books can be taken out): Everything You Know, by Zoe Heller.
So where is this path of reading, writing, research and learning going to lead? One thing I’m sure of is that all of them are keeping me away from the drink; something I hope is apparent from my grammar, articulacy and general writing.
- A job related to the knowledge I’ve gained;
- A degree;
- A specialist subject on Mastermind (snakes or printing), or a place on another knowledge-based quiz show;
- A published author;
- Resurrecting my old business (the infrastructure is still there although I’d need to be quite creative), or starting a new one (I have the skills still)?
Some may be pipe dreams and some may be dependent on my Small Sparks application for a computer being successful but please don’t shoot me down in flames for having such (in some cases false) ambitions. I’d rather like to think that I’m admired for making an effort and focussing.
I’m 43 and having to start over: that’s tough. I’ve been told I’m interesting (among other things). So what will I do with my life?
I don’t know yet.