I believe in myself: if only others would do so too and support me, rather than be dismissive.
But I’m doing it on my own now, with my new friends, some of whom are in the same boat as me; the ones who get it. Not people I’m clinging to as some have suggested. I acknowledge that I still have friends from my old lives and I value those who are left. The rest won’t be reading this; they’re gone, along with everything else which was unpleasant before.
I turned down a place at Shelter last night. Not because I couldn’t be bothered and would rather piss piss about but because I at least have a roof at Gilbert Arse and others have no such luxury. Beds are limited in number and the co-ordinators have the unfortunate task of allocating on a needs basis. I was pre-approved and had a free meal lined up but I gave the meal and bed to someone more needy. The Shelter co-ordinator thanked me for being so candid, kind and generous and said I’d been a massive help in freeing up a space: glad to help.
(But I’m selfish of course.)
I’m content. Contentment and all those other C-words – there are ten in total (work it out) = Me.