17.08.14 (Day 238)
A brilliant article from The Guardian which may allow some to better understand what myself and others are going through. And it’s not written by me, so I never was self-indulgent or hiding behind a smokescreen. I’m real. It was real all along:
17.08.14 (Day 238)
If it ain’t broke, break it.
So seems the attitude of some with nothing better to do than amuse themselves by causing others misfortune. I refer to finance, friendship and family. I’ve had all broken. And my heart, several times.
Finances like I had, I can live without; similarly material goods. Friendships have been broken and lost; and so have families. They couldn’t deal with me, nor me them. Some are lost for good: they’re where they belong now.
As I move on, I still face challenges and embrace danger. But some things need to be left in the past and that’s the best place for them. The Pink Hearts are pretty much all where they belong now. Some will move around; others will remain constant. The latter are the ones whom I know won’t break my heart. If they did, it would destroy me but my barriers came down and they’re in my heart. It ruled because I trust. They won’t be got at either.
Dear friends and family,
Visitors are still allowed but requests need to go through the boss: my director and guardian. Any potential visitors know who that is. Keep in touch. There are days when the hosts need a break. This is a family home and not the old place, so sometimes we all need a bit of quiet. Please don’t take offence if you’re asked to stay away on occasion. And please don’t run away. Don’t forget that I’m ill and that this part of the recovery process is exactly that: a part of the recovery process. Again, this is self-imposed exile and therapy. I’m being fixed.
The people I remain with are some whom I helped and who helped me; stuck by me. I wish the same could be said of other friends and family. Finances too: broken and lost; astray. I like to fix things.
There is a greater healer: time. That’s something I have a lot of but then again, I’m limited by that resource as well as others. We all have time. Sometimes we all need a break.
If it is broken, fix it.