Pretty in Blue

23.11.14 (Day 336)

18.42

So bored and frustrated.

Little Blue has died. The Android tablet which was running my life and my fledgling business is no longer. Just as I start to re-build things, the very thing which I was relying on goes and dies on me. It is an ex-computer. I may as well use it as a place mat. I may as well use it as a disposable plate, eat dinner off of it, then throw it in the bin. It is a brick; a lifeless slab. We’ve tried everything, including a hard reset, factory restore but still nothing.

I can’t send or receive emails; I can’t watch TV, play movies or games. We had so much going for us but what we had going is gone. The Wife has pretty much gone too. One of my strongest props has another life which I always understood but that other life has taken over now. It was short, it was sweet; we tried. And if my words break through her walls, I hope she’ll meet me at the door.

My sister has gone of late too. It’s as though everyone has better things to do. Good for them. I wish I just had something to do.

But all I can do is apply a little prescribed therapy and write. I’m trying to find the inspiration to write one of the many short stories I have in my head. But I’ve lost them. They were on Little Blue.

How about a poem?

I’m tired and I’m lost

Bored and blue

I know what I need

Just you

The black dog is here

I feel so alone

He’s gone for a while

Throw him a bone

But he’ll be back

Walking to heel

Wanting me dead

The way I feel

Right here

Right now

I want to be better

I don’t know how

To stop the pain

Blank the thoughts

Like a binary game

But no ones; just naughts

My heart is heavy

Full of sorrow

Will it get better?

Maybe tomorrow