Social etiquette for visitors

THE WRITER’S LIFE

An email arrived at the Unfinished Literary Agency today. Entitled ‘Reintegration into human life for aliens,’ it asks:

As a guest in another person’s living space, how do you position yourself on the furniture?

Guest chair positions

There’s no indication of whether the chair is the only one in the room, let alone the most nonchalant to be found in, so I went with 9. It continues:

Arriving as a visitor and finding another human guest already present, consider your assumptions and first impressions: indicate the most likely relationship of the guest to the host for each diagram.

I went with:

1. Police / The queen
2. Mum / Leonard
3. Dad / Sheldon
4. First date / Penny
5. Second date / Raj
6. Third date / Howard
7. Granddad
8. Nan
9. Someone who understands them

The email ends:

Each diagram could be any of the answers you gave; they can all be inter-changeable, if you can imagine such a place. Others may not be of similar mind. What’s considered normal where you’re from might seem eccentric on other worlds. Be yourself, wherever that is.

The second volume of short stories from The Unfinished Literary Agency is available in paperback.

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