Horoscope by Psymon Pspykehead

YOUR STARS

Psychic Psymon

GEMINI (21 May – 21 June): August sees Ursa Minor conspiring with Uranus, while your planetary messenger (Mercury) lifts its skirt on a close pass at the sun. The month ahead may itch, but try not to scratch it…

The alignment of the stars guided a recent meeting with a benefits assessor, when you mentioned that the true measure of society is how it treats its poorest members, noted that the government has a social cleansing agenda, then paid the assessor a human compliment. This may turn out to be a good move. The suggestion you might kill yourself if you’re taken out of the Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) ‘Support’ Group, to silence the daily voices which remind you of life’s one inevitability, made bearable by human support, could prove to be a deft touch. There was a room you needed to escape, and you imagined an exit.

You treated the outside world like a dream you were living in and interacting with, which will prove to be a useful coping mechanism. You hardly ever go out unless you’re forced to, but you took some good out with you. That means you left it somewhere and didn’t bring it home.

Things aren’t about to get any better any time soon, but there’s a human contact Psychic Psymon feels. Which is all any of us need really, in hopeful dreams or anywhere else.

I see a visit from a person in uniform. You should expect something in the post soon. Don’t be impatient. Don’t let sand get in your vagina like Mercury, your ruler.

As my auntie, (Mystic) Margaret always says from the beyond, don’t pin your hopes on false prophets and fake fortune-tellers, believe in science and humanity. And your mum asked if you got that letter she sent.

August Lottery numbers: 21, 37
Lucky food: Cauliflower cheese
Lucky quiz host: Bradley Walsh

‘With luck, we place trust in ourselves’

Psychic Psymon, Pts.D

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