The Infinite Monkey Agency

THE SCI-FI WRITER’S PROMPTS There are a finite number of plots and an (almost) infinite number of ways to tell the stories, yet even a truly infinite number of writers would never complete them all. Some of the best stories (even some of my own) are those which leave the reader thinking, and often finishing…Read more The Infinite Monkey Agency

Pan troglodyte propaganda

POETRY A future traveller found a sheet of headed paper in one of the infinite monkeys‘ typewriters. ‘The human guilt complex’, or ‘The Simplicity of Human Complexity,’ stacks of an evolving soliloquy were left in the Unfinished Literary Agency‘s photocopier.  The writers continue to evolve, and they’re apparently handing out flyers in the street. They’ve learned…Read more Pan troglodyte propaganda

Call TOLL-FREE: 1-800-0-000-000

FLASH FICTION A short story (222 words) about passwords and personal data. Precious commodities entrusted to digital custody… EIGHT BILLION QUESTIONS Please enter user name Human, A How may I help you today? How do I prevent the impending destruction of planet Earth? Hmmm. Tricky. I may have to think about that for a while.…Read more Call TOLL-FREE: 1-800-0-000-000

Free-range chicken in Oregon

THE WRITER’S LIFE | FICTION “As I was walking down Stanton Street early one Sunday morning, I saw a chicken a few yards ahead of me. I was walking faster than the chicken, so I gradually caught up. By the time we approached Eighteenth Avenue, I was close behind. The chicken turned south on Eighteenth.…Read more Free-range chicken in Oregon

A gospel of biblical instruments

FICTION In cat mythology, white mice were the second most intelligent species on Earth, after cats. Then it was dolphins, humans, dogs and everyone else. While infinite monkeys and apes developed tools, it was only humans who could be trained to use their opposable thumbs to write stories. Of course, white lab mice are the…Read more A gospel of biblical instruments

A library of appetite disorders

FICTION Most Schlock covers don’t objectify a fantasy female warrior (they do men, demons, ghosts, monsters and aliens too), but it’s always nice to see my name on the front of a webzine (and print quarterly) where I feel at home. I like to think it’s the kind of cult pulp fiction people might pick up…Read more A library of appetite disorders

Still tied with instrument strings

FICTION Has anyone been to The Tower of London recently? Were the ravens still there? Because it seems The Tories’ incompetent and corrupt fascist dictatorship has achieved at least one thing: The collapse of democracy into deadly farce. The collected corvids on the Tower lawns could surely do a better job of governing than the…Read more Still tied with instrument strings

An irreversible misadventure

THE WRITER’S LIFE | FICTION EDIT: World War 3 was always going to be a technological conflict, and one without national borders. Eventually the war was between humankind’s bi-polar ideologies. Essentially it came down to what it means to be human. In a test of how my new fabric conditioner works, I’m hanging out some…Read more An irreversible misadventure

Brown paper packages tied up

FICTION ALPHABETTI ON TOAST Yesterday was quite an eventful one in my otherwise unremarkable studio. My flatmate opened a letter meant for me but addressed to her, when the supplier (Ganges.com) had confused the gift card with the address label. That simple error would change the way Andrea (my flatmate) and I had lived fairly…Read more Brown paper packages tied up