Trump shuts down wind farms ‘To prevent hurricanes’

WORLD NEWS

Donald Trump has ordered all wind farms in the USA to cease production with immediate effect, to “reduce the devastating effects of hurricanes and tsunamis on America”. The president told the UN Climate Committee, “What they produce is just air, wind. That’s why they’re called wind farms. Because they make wind. They store it up, and they have to get rid of it somehow.”

Digs Coal

In his later address to reporters, the president referred to his recent visit to the UK.

I was in the UK recently and their government has cut almost all subsidies for renewable energy companies. Like me, they believe in oil and gas, the natural resources of our beautiful planet, which God provided so that humanity’s ingenuity would allow him to drive cars on the roads, fly planes, and power industry. And then I thought about the wind farms and how they collect wind. If we stop doing it, we’ll be more like the Brits and we’ll get fewer hurricanes, because the wind farms aren’t storing up the wind. The off-shore ones are the worst, because they make tsunamis. And here’s the amazing thing: There wasn’t a single hurricane or tsunami all the time I was in the UK. Maybe it was because I was there.” He added, “I also told Theresa Tory that Brexit was a great idea, like the NHS. Make America British again.”

Referring to a recent meeting with Elon Musk of Space X, Mr Trump explained why he may extend his ban on renewable energy to include solar power: “I was talking to Elon Spaceship about renewable energy, because it’s meant to be better than oil and gas, and I said if we want to collect more solar energy, we need to go to the sun. Elon Spaceship said we can’t send astronauts up there, and I said it’s fine, we’ll just send them up at night. But he said it couldn’t be done. And I agree. Because like the wind farms store wind, solar panels collect the sun’s energy. And where does all that stored solar energy go? To make global warming.”

The president then dropped his microphone. “I’m banning all renewable energy to avert a global catastrophe.”

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I believe in Fridays as our future

POETRY

Contented people make shit activists, because they don’t have much to be pissed off about in their closeted, entitled lives. I’m angry about many things, but lack the energy I once had to be an effective protester beyond the written word. My faith lies in the younger generation, so I wrote a cross-generational poem.

Monkey Black heart Teen

Our children are growing up to be activists by default, with more UK school kids joining the #FridayForFuture protests every week. Theirs is a growing movement against capitalism, fascism, war, human rights abuse and climate change. We should not dismiss or ignore them. As parents we won’t, but we can’t ignore the ugly wall of politics we made for them, like so many rods for our species’ spine.

The UK government’s response to the student protests so far has been typical: The strikes are increasing the burden on teaching staff. From what I’ve been able to find out, most of the teachers are behind the students. To the detractors and deniers who say that striking affects their education, they ask, what’s the point of preparing for a future which won’t be there unless the world changes?

Our kids shouldn’t have to grow up this fast, but we made it that way. We didn’t change politics, but the children of humans could.

Some will use it as an excuse to play truant, but most are acting out of an existential fear, and better that their energy and anger is directed to a social cause than an alternative tribalism.

Perhaps eventually there’ll be civil unrest, but even a police state like the UK wouldn’t use tear gas to control children, would they? Once it really kicks off, I predict the Tories imposing martial law, and the death of policing by consent in the UK.

My own kids may or may not walk out of lessons on Fridays, and if they do, they have my support and admiration. As a punk in the 1980s, I didn’t always know what I was angry about. It’s pretty clear now what I missed.

Our children are the future. They’re precious and powerful assets, and they’re wiser than we were, because they can see what we didn’t see coming. We dismiss them as young and innocent at our species’ peril.

These kids will make a fine next generation of adults, because they’re activists. The world will not be at peace until we can see a future where we can all be content to live in a home we made for everyone together.

#PowerToTheChildren #ExtinctionRebellion #FridayForFuture #ClimateStrike

 

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